Parenting in Japan

Japan's approach to parenting is radically different from that of the United States. Most Americans value individualism, independence, and initiative and raise their children to be self-reliant. From the Japanese view­point, these kinds of attitudes and behaviors are too narrowly goal-oriented. The Japanese value loyalty and proper behavior over personal success. Respect for authority and obedience are taught early in the home, and they are reinforced in nursery school.

Japanese child rearing is based on a concept called amae, which is a sense of complete dependence based on the desire for love and caring. Amae is instilled in Japanese children by their mothers, who give them twenty-four-hour love. Many Japanese mothers typically spend every waking hour with their babies. They often take them into their beds at night, pick them up whenever they cry, and cater to their every whim. Most American parents think this kind of behavior will spoil a child and discour­age independence and self-reliance. In contrast, the Japanese feel that keeping children happy will motivate them to be cooperative later in life. Amaе-based care and guidance is continued in the school system, where children are rewarded for cooperative behavior and teamwork. In the busi­ness world Japanese team spirit is the foundation of success, and the climb up the corporate ladder is based on how well employees have helped promote the good of the company overall rather than on how well they have performed individually.

Although gender roles are changing in Japan, many families still socialize their children into traditional gender roles. Japanese mothers fre­quently emphasize the importance of boys being "diligent" and "responsible" workers and girls being "happy homemakers". In addition, although Japanese fathers are often absent from home, the father's authority is frequently reinforced in daily mother-child interaction.

Since provider and father roles are synonymous, Japanese men who might choose to reduce work hours to be at home with their children may be criticized by coworkers or family members.

Some Americans feel that emulating Japanese parenting styles would create greater cooperation between children and less conflict be­tween parents and adolescents. Others feel that loyalty to a company and unquestioned obedience stifle individual self-fulfillment and creativity.