OPERATING SYSTEMS
 
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| A customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Windows?" | ||||
| If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed... Oh, wait a minute, he already does. Millions of people believe they are animals, but I have yet to meet one that believes in Windows' stability. Even human stupidity has limits ;-) | 
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| No matter what problem you have with your computer - Its Always Microsoft's fault System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software. | ||||
| ERROR MESSAGES FOR WINDOWS * User Error: Replace user. * Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" | 
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| * File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) * Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) * Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. | ||||||
| * Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! * Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. * Close your eyes and press escape three times. * Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. * This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? | 
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| WINDOWS A VIRUS? No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: They replicate quickly. (Okay, Windows does that) Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. (Okay, Windows does that) | ||||||
| Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. (Okay, Windows does that, too) Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. (Sigh... Windows does that, too) Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow and the user will buy new hardware. (Yup, that's with Windows, too) | ||||||
| Until now it seems, Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So, Windows is *not* a virus! | |||||||
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