A Visit to Vladivostok

Oliver: Victor, have you ever visited Vladivostok?

Victor: Never. In fact, I haven't travelled further than Liverpool.

Oliver: I've had an invitation from the University of Vladivostok to give a survey of my own creative verse.

Victor: How marvellous!

Oliver: Will my navy overcoat be heavy enough, I wonder? It's long-sleeved ,and reversible. And I've got a pair of velvet Levis — rather a vivid violet! Do you think they'll approve?

Victor: I should think the professors will view violet Levis with violent disapproval. When do you leave?

Oliver: On the 7th of November.

Victor: I don't advise you to travel on the 7th. It's the anniversary of the Valentine Invasion. And for heaven's sake, Oliver, don't overdo the caviar. Or the vodka.

Oliver: Victor, I do believe you're envious!

3. Rowena, Are You Awake?

Edward: Rowena! Are you awake?

Rowena: What? Edward, what's wrong? What time is it?

Edward: Oh, about two o'clock.

Rowena: In the morning? Oh, go away! What are you doing?

Edward: Come to the window, Rowena. Look, the whole world's white, there's a wicked wind blowing through Orwell Wood, whispering in the willows, whipping the water into waves, while over in the West...

Rowena: Oh, waxing poetical! You are off your head! I always knew it! Why are you wearing your Wellingtons?

Edward: I want to go out and wander in the woods. Come with me, Rowena! I can't wait to go walking in that wild and wonderful weather!

Rowena: I wish you wouldn't wake me up at two in the morning to go on a wild-goose chase!

Edward: Oh, woman, woman! Stop whining! What a wet blanket you are!