Happy Birthday

Bob: Hello, Barbara.

Barbara: Hello, Bob. It's my birthday today.

Bob: Oh, yes. Your birthday! Happy birthday, Barbara!

Barbara: Thanks, Bob. Somebody gave me this blouse for my birthday.

Bob: What a beautiful blouse! It's got brown and blue butterflies on it.

Barbara: And big black buttons.

Bob: Did Ruby buy it for you?

Barbara: Yes. And my brother gave we a hairbrush and a book about baby birds.

Bob: I didn't remember your birthday, Barbara, I'm terribly sorry.

Barbara: Well, you can buy me a big bottle of perfume, Bob!

Bob: I've got a better idea. We'll get into a cab and go to a pub, and I'll buy you a bottle of beer!

3. Brandy in the Baby's Bottle!

{Telephone rings.) Bob: Bob Batterby.

В a b s: Oh Bob, this is Babs. I'm baby-sitting for Betty and my brother Bill. I'm sorry to bother you but...

Bob: What's the trouble? No problem's too big when Bob's on the job!

В a b s: Oh stop being stupid. Bob. It's baby. I put her on the balcony on a blanket with a biscuit to bite on and I think a bit of biscuit... She can't breathe.

Bob: Bang her on the back, between the shoulder blades.

В a b s: I've banged her till she's black and blue.

Bob: Try putting a bit of brandy in her bottle.

В a b s: Brandy in the baby's bottle! Oh Bob!

Bob: Sorry, Babs. Sounds bad. I'd better bicycle over. Be with you before you can say "bread and butter".

Babs: Bless you, Bob. Bye-bye. Be quick.