The Worst Nurse

Sir Herbert: Nurse!

Colonel Burton: Nurse! I'm thirsty!

Sir Herbert: Nurse! My head hurts!

Colonel Burton: NURSE!!

Sir Herbert: Curse these nurses!

Colonel Burton: Nurse Sherman always wears such dirty shirts.

Sir Herbert: And such short skirts.

Colonel Burton: She never arrives at work early.

Sir Herbert: She and... er... Nurse Turner weren't at work on Thursday, were they?

Colonel Burton: No, they weren't.

Sir Herbert: Nurse Sherman is the worst nurse in the ward, isn't she?

Colonel Burton: No, she isn't. She's the worst nurse in the world!

2. How's My Pert Little Turtledove?

1st Bird: How's my pert little turtledove this early, pearly murmuring morn?

2nd В i r d: I think I'm worse. I can't turn on my perch. And I'm permanently thirsty — burning, burning. It's murder.

1st Bird: My poor, hurt bird. The world's astir. I've heard that even the worms are turning. A worm! You yearn for a worm!

2nd Bird: I'm allergic to worms. Ugh! Dirty, squirming worms!

1st Bird: I'll search under the fir trees and the birches. I'll circle the earth — and I'll return with a superb firm earthworm for my perfect turtledove.

2nd Bird: What an absurd bird! You're very chirpy, Sir. I wish I were. All this fervid verse. I find it disturbing so early. I prefer a less wordy bird.

1st Bird: No further word, then. I'm a bird with a purpose. Er — I'd better fly; it's the early bird that catches the worm — or so I've heard!

Exercise VI.Read the rhymes and learn them.

1. There was a little girl

And she had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very, very good,

But when she was bad,

She was horrid.

2. There was an old person of Burton,

Whose answers were very uncertain,

When they said. "How ďyou do?"

He replied, "Who are you?"

This distressing old person of Burton.

3. There was an old lady of Chertsey,

Who made a remarkable curtsey,

She twirled round and round,

Till she sunk underground,

Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.

Exercise VII.Transcribe the proverbs and learn them.

1. First come, first served.

2. A light purse is a heavy curse.

3. Many words hurt more than swords.

4. It is the early bird that catches the worm.

5. Virtue is its own reward.

6. The work shows the workman.

7. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

8. One good turn deserves another.

9. Old birds are not caught with chaff.

UNIT 5. [ʌ] – [a:]

Exercise I. Read the following words paying special attention to correct pronunciation.

Exercise II.Read the following sense-groups, mind the rhythm and intonation.

(a) Charles; hard on Charles; rather hard on Charles; Father's rather hard on Charles.

(b) supper; bun for supper; buttered bun for supper; crusty buttered bun for supper; a lovely crusty buttered bun for supper.

Exercise III.Transcribe and intone the following sentences. Practise reading them in pairs.

[ʌ] (a) 1. Just my luck.

2. Pluck up your courage.

3. Does the bus run every other Monday?

4. My brother Russ made mother's cup run over.

5. After Sunday comes Monday.

[a:] (b) 1. He who laughs last laughs longest.

2. One is nearer God's heart in a garden.

3. Cold hands, warm heart.

4. Part and parcel.

5. Barbara Barton is art and part of the party.

6. Cars can't be parked here after dark.

7. Aunt Martha lives near Marble Arch.

6. Margaret and Charles are dancing in the garden under the stars.

[ʌ] — [a:] (c) 1. Charles puts some mustard in his mother's custard.

2. Charles' brother wonders why father doesn't love his other son.

3. Margaret loves Charles, Charles loves Marcia.

Exercise IV. Read the tongue-twister and learn it.

I wonder why my cousin doesn't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper coffee cup.

Exercise V.Read the dialogues, mark the stresses and tunes. Learn them. Act out the dialogues.